My new blackly humourous noir tale of family troubles, “Don’t Call Me Darling” is up at Pulpcore in German as “Nenn’ mich nicht Liebling” for your reading pleasure. Brush up on your Deutsche skills! Get some laughs. Here’s the first bit in English:
Luke was breaking fingers for the boss when we got the call. I was mostly watching him because that was his job and talking was my job and the talk had already been done.
‘I’ll get you the money,’ Mr Irving screamed.
I looked over at Luke, a bullet-headed son of a gun that had seen too many Statham films and fancied himself an action star. Never mind Hollywood was a long way off, his shaved head was not sexy and he had the body of an indolent potato. He figured someone would discover his masculine pulchritude sooner or later. ‘Thursday good for you?’
Luke grunted. That was poetry from him.
‘I think the boss might find that acceptable.’ I dug the vibrating phone out of my pocket and answered. ‘Hey boss, he says—’
The boss cut me off. ‘Fiona’s on her way.’
‘The hell you say?’ I wasn’t one to doubt the boss, but I couldn’t quite take in the truth of the words all at once. You might as well have said Elvis was in town. If Elvis were back and gunning for the boss and anyone who stood in the way…
Read the rest in German at Pulpcore — English version whenever someone shows the interest…